Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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