And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
