I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
