Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
