Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You were trust falling into bushes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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