no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish I could teleport
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
