I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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