my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
