Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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