hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
