I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
