So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
