i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
