I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
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4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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