Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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