wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
