Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize