Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
