just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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