went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
