16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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