I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize