I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
