I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
