i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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