Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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