and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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