After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
