Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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