Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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