Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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