There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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