You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
