why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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