so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
