I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have aggressive nipples.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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