I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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