her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
