i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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