At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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