listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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