Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
