Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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