Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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