I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
