put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
