This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
