I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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