I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
