i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
