It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
