At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
