I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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