My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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