I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
