I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
