I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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