She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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