And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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