fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
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