yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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