I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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