she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
