You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i dont even know how to be here
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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