smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
