you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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